Heeding the Bat Signal: The (seriously) Epic Tale of How I Got My Superhero Agent

Warning, this blog post will contain overuse of GIFs, flagrant capitalization, and excessive exclamation points because

HOLY CROW, PEOPLE, I HAVE AN AGENT!!!

And so you don't skip down to the bottom of the post, I will announce right here and now that I am being represented by...

Batman.

You didn't REALLY think it was gonna be that easy, did you?

Here's the story of how it happened. Complete with Disney GIFs!

But, D, what does Batman have to do with Disney?

Nothing. It turns out it's really hard to find funny yet appropriate Batman GIFs online. Who knew? Interwebz, you should be working on this. In the meantime, PRINCESSES!

A long, long time ago, in a land far, far away (Orlando), I wrote a very different, very ugly version of what would eventually become a rough draft of Imperfectly Fine. I tossed it to three of my most loyal beta readers, whose response was something like this...

So I decided, "Hmmm...Maybe I'll get back to that, ya know, eventually."

Eventually happened in Spring 2012 when I was six months pregnant. My doctor pulled me out of my completely insane day job and, knowing I was not the kind of person who could grasp the concept of "taking it easy," put me on bed rest.

And I was like, "wait...you mean I have to sit or lay down, like...all day?"

To which she basically replied, "yes, you dumbass, that's what bed rest means."

She conceded that I could sit on the couch. For three months.

Within a few days, I got busy making Imperfectly Fine into Imperfectly Fine. But in May (that's two months early for those keeping track), this happened...

Completely and totally impatient and working on her own timeline. Yeah, she's mine.

Stitch would be spending at least a month in the hospital getting closer to gestational age zero. So now I was a mom, but I didn't have a baby at home. Also, as you can maybe imagine, C-SECTIONS EFFING HURT. There was a lot of sitting around in my near future and a lot of feeling less than up to par.

I started editing. On hydrocodone. (Have I mentioned I'm a substance abuse counselor?)

In August, Authoress, the goddess behind Miss Snark's FirstVictim, announced that she'd be co-hosting a Teen Eyes Pitch Contest with KristaVan Dolzer and Brenda Drake (all of whom you should be following rabidly, btw). 

I thought my manuscript was in pretty good shape. 

Okay, I was wrong. But that's what I thought. So I entered the contest to win a partial manuscript critique. I was totally shocked when editorial and agenting intern Brent Taylor picked me out of the slush and made me his winner!

For those looking for a take home message in this post, it might be worth noting that the pitch I used for the Teen Eyes contest is nearly the same pitch I used in my query and all along the path that led to me having an agent. My concept has never been the problem.

No, the problem was me. But we'll get to that.

In the meantime, I may have let Teen Eyes get to my head a little.

But the fact that I had something was further confirmed at SCBWI Carolinas where I had the privilege of having my first ten pages critiqued by the incredibly talented Megan Miranda.  I also participated in a blind first page cold reading and got some incredibly helpful feedback from Divergent editor Molly O'Neill and I volunteered to have my "so-what" factor ripped apart by awesome agent Jen Rofé. Short story long, I had a lot of really, really good eyes on my words in one weekend. 

My maternity leave was almost up and going back to work was inevitable. I buckled down, using the feedback I'd gotten from SCBWI, Brent, WriteOnCon, and Scribophile with the goal of having Imperfectly Fine ready to query by November 1, 2012. I was nearing what I thought would be the end of my pre-agent editing...

and though I had a couple good CPs and a WONDERFUL pack of beta readers, I wanted a few more eyes  before I started querying.

One of the resources I picked up while doing WriteOnCon was the YAStands blog, for which I'm excited to be a contributing blogger now. They did a post about upcoming contests which mentioned that Brenda, Deana Romito, and some chick named Kimberly Chase were hosing an upcoming contest called Trick or Treat with Agents.

Since the last contest had gone so well, I decided to enter. This time there would be actual agents involved, requesting manuscripts. Since it was a Halloween contest, they'd be "disguised" by costumes.

Three things you should know about me: (1) I am extremely superstitious in random, nontraditional ways (2) Halloween is my favorite holiday (3) I have had a life-long affinity for all things Batman.  

When Kim picked IMPERFECTLY FINE as one of the top ten YA entries I was beyond excited. I maybe almost peed a little. Then? This happened...

Which meant that the mystery agent costumed as Batman wanted to see my partial. *And* it just so happened that Batman was on my "to-query" list. Well, not Batman, but you KWIM. My reaction was something like this...

Still I had committed to beginning my querying process by November 1^st, so that's what I did. In my first batch, I sent out ten queries. From that I got three requests. But despite this positive start, these requests ultimately ended in rejections. The good thing was that they were detailed, helpful rejections. My plot was still a problem. My hook was there, but needed to be stronger. And Noah? Oh poor Noah. My love interest was hurting me more than he was helping. More on that later...

On to Pitch Wars and MSFV's Secret Agent contest, neither of which I won, but both of which led to some more really helpful feedback for me. They also further introduced me to Kim and to Marieke Nijkamp, both of whom offered to beta my manuscript even though they didn't pick me as their mentee. I could not have survived what follows without these two amazing writers.

I edited some more. I queried some more. I got a couple more requests and got my ass handed to me, which I rightly deserved. One agent, we'll call her Agent M, was an agent I'd queried because I heard she gave thoughtful feedback even when sending a query rejection. When she requested my full, it made my year. I squeed a little more quietly than I would have in October, because I was starting to figure this whole process out finally, but I still squeed. Agent M was my pipedream agent, someone I thought was perfect for my book, but in no way expected her to give me the time of day.

A few days later, Agent M sent me an invitation to R&R. I started to revise yet again.

Two days before New Year's Eve, while I was in the midst of Agent M's revision, Batman requested my full.

Oh...um...I should probably mention at some point that Batman is, in fact, a woman. Anyway...

I was editing! But there was my bat signal! That had to mean something, right?

So what did I do? Did I write Batman and say, "hey, I'm doing some editing, can you gimme a few?" Hell no. Because Dannie is not a patient person. I sent off my half-edited manuscript and crossed my fingers. 

Do not do this. Seriously.

Once I realized what a colossal mistake that was, I hurriedly finished my R&R. and sent it off to Agent M and another agent who was waiting on my full, and for the hell of it asked if Batman might consider taking a look at the revision instead.She urged me to send it on straight away.

Why? Honestly, you'll have to ask her. Cuz I totally deserved for her to drop me like a Hot Pocket. Especially because I was going to get even flakier.

Get it? Hot Pocket? Flakier? 

...

...

February is when things finally started to come together. And by come together I mean that all hell broke loose.

I got another rejection from Agent M with another opportunity to R&R (because apparently she is a glutton for punishment? Or really nice? Probably both.) I'd stopped querying at that point because I was burned out on the manuscript, and was knee deep in drug binging kids with my day job to the point where I couldn't deal with the drug binging kids in my manuscript. So while I was excited about the third chance with my dream agent, and I was still hopeful I'd hear good things from Batman soon, the R&R was a little bittersweet. 

So what did I do? I did what every perfectly rationally thinking burned out writer does when she's backed herself into a clusterfuck.

I made my love interest gay. 

Yeah.

I am, in each and every aspect of my life, a plotter. And I was pantsing my ass off. Which should have been my first (no probably third) clue that I was screwing this up big time.

Just as I began to realize my fuckedupedness,  Batman wrote me an email with some very specific feedback, offering me an "Exclusive Revision."

So I wrote her back in as professional a way as I could manage basically saying, "Do what now?"

It's actually just what it sounds like. I'd rescind my manuscript from the agents who currently had it, and work exclusively with Batman to revise it, and then after that, if we were both happy with the way the revision went, she would offer representation. Which, really, is a cool opportunity--You get a feel for how you work together, a true sense of whether your vision for the manuscript is the same. All before you have to commit to someone you should really feel good about before you put your book's life in her hands.

Still, it scared the hell outta me. It felt like a proverbial all-eggs-one-basket sort of thing. I decided to contact the other agents considering partials and fulls (I was standing at 7 at the time) and see how that went. Keep in mind, at this point half of the agents had manuscripts with Noah straight and the other half gay. The next week went a little bit like this...

And in that time I learned three crucially important take-home lessons: First and foremost NO ONE IS HURRYING IN PUBLISHING SO YOU SHOULDN'T EITHER. When you do, you make stupid, desperate decisions that are absolutely no good for your writing. Two, the feedback you get from agents on fulls and partials will vary. A lot. This is a good thing because it lets you know if you and an agent are on the same page. Also, you cannot possibly adhere to all of it and have a manuscript that makes sense.

Three: Don't ever, ever make your love interest gay on impulse. Like, ever.

As my deadline approached, I spoke to three agents on the phone: Agent M, Agent B--who had been considering my full--and Batman.

Agent B had the strongest reaction to my decision to make Noah gay. In fact, her reaction was so strong that when I told her I kinda hated the decision myself, she offered me representation.

Yeah, you read that right. Two days before I owed Batman a decision on her exclusive revision, I got an offer of representation from somebody else. 

Which was great. Beyond great. And I felt a connection with Agent B when I talked to her on the phone. It was a dream come true...

Except, it didn't feel like a dream come true. It felt like screeching brakes and a migraine.

I spend a lot of time in my day job talking to kids about that little voice. You know, the one that tells you something isn't right?

I really, really wanted to ignore it.

I talked to Agent M next. I'd informed her of the offer from Agent B and laid all my cards on the table--my confusion, my frustration with my own wish-washiness with Noah, and how I felt about losing the opportunity to have her as an agent (she was my dream agent after all.) Agent M was not calling me to make me an offer. She was calling to help me figure out what my next step was, which, by the way, she had absolutely no obligation to do. It was such a good call, though. I heard nothing but good about Agent M going into the querying process, and every single thing people said about her was absolutely true.

My manuscript was in shambles. My judgment was clearly lacking as far as my L.I. was concerned. I was the actual personification of the Hero Lost in my own story. This was not how I wanted to feel when I signed with an agent.

In my moment of despair, Batman emailed to say she was still very interested in my manuscript despite my offer and that she wanted to chat. My heart fluttered. My pulse raced. Batman was going to counter-offer. I just knew it!

Actually, Batman was calling to say that my manuscript was in shambles and I needed to really consider if that was how I wanted to feel when I signed with an agent.

I ended that phone call baffled and irked. Which makes absolutely no sense. Why? Because it was exactly what I had been thinking before I took Batman's call! Which is why I did the only thing I could possibly do that was crazier than making my love interest gay.

I rejected the only offer of representation I had on the table. And I rejected the offer of exclusive revision. 

I wrote Batman, Agent M, and Agent B and told them that I had decided to revise independently. What I really meant was "I'm at the ledge and I want to gleefully fling my computer over it, so I need some time." They all offered to look at the manuscript again once I revised. So that's what I set out to do.

Sort of...

You know that "all hope is lost" moment in every great story right before the hero goes from hero acted upon to hero in action? That's where I was. It sucked rocks. 

I was exhausted. I was confused. I had royally screwed up my manuscript. And on top of that, my non-writing life was nuts. My preemie was sick on and off to the point we had to pull her out of day care. My job was off the chain. And my husband and I both got struck by what will go down in history as the worst, most life-altering case of stomach flu in unrecorded history. 

I took a full break from writing. Not just writing but all things writing related. Everything. Part of that was forced upon me by the worst, most life-altering case of stomach flu in unrecorded history. Part of it was that my brain was in worse shape than my body.

When I finally straightened my shit out (and Noah's) I revised thoroughly. I beta'ed and CPed the hell out of it. Then I sent my book baby off into the agenting world one more time.  When Batman responded, it took me nearly a day to open the email. I was seriously having trauma flashbacks to February. This time, though, Batman was writing to offer me representation. The tone of her email was passionate enthusiastic. Everything you want an offer of representation to be. Which, combined with the trauma flashbacks made me ugly cry.

Cuz, ya know, I had to send out a whole bunch of emails. I had 20 queries or submissions unaccounted for.  I had to follow up with all of them and tell them I needed an answer in seven business days.

I sent my emails. And then Batman and I had *the call*. And it was everything THE CALL should be.

And because hindsight is 20/20 and whatnot, looking back I can see that Batman was the agent for me all along. She saw through my crazypants moments and was patient when I couldn't be. She kept in touch with me while she was reading to let me know how much she liked my book. She's as excited about my manuscript as I am, even with all its imperfections. We're totally on the same page on the edits I still need to make. She fought to represent me.

And she's friggin' Batman, for crying out loud.

But now, I can officially and formally say that I am beyond ecstatic to be represented by Thao Le of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency. And I feel like this:

Which is exactly how it should be.

There are a ton of people I need to thank for getting me this far, only a handful of whom got a shoutout in this post. That's what a fourteen month trek toward finding an agent will do for you. So I'll save that for another entry. Or better yet, for my Acknowledgments. Cuz Thao and I are gonna do our thing here in a bit and get Skylar, Cole and Noah a book deal.

Final Stats:

Queries Sent: 63

Partials requested: 7

Fulls requested: 19

Contests Entered (with agents): 4

Contest requests: 7

Offers of representation: 2

Timeline with Thao:

11/2/12 Partial Request

12/28/12 Full Request

2/11/13 Offer of Exclusive Revision

4/20/13 Revision Submitted

5/21/13 Offer of Representation

Thursdays Children: Inspired by...Rejection?

Thursday's children is a blog meme where writers blog about what inspires them. Click here to find out more and join us!

I know what you're thinking. Dannie has truly and fantastically fallen off the deep end. She's been in the slush for too long, her eyes are bleeding from queries, and well...

There are lots of things to be inspired by, but...rejection? How on earth can having your word babies chewed up and spit out possibly inspire you to keep writing?

Well, a lot of ways. 

Any day of the week and twice on Sunday, a rejection is better than a no-response. We all know that we are not supposed to follow up on queries without good reason, right? Particularly if the agent says on their website that they only respond to queries they're interested in. Which is a perfectly understandable policy in the internet age. Unless you're a writer whose situation becomes a little...grey. Like say you get an offer of representation. Do you assume you're in the "crap I'll never give the time of day" pile? Certainty is always preferable for me. At the end of the day, I just want to know where I stand.

You know you have found an agent who is not the right agent for your manuscript. Even if the agent on paper looks like THE AGENT for your manuscript, or if you cannot imagine a better person to champion your words, if they don't feel the same way, they're not the right agent for your book. Getting a rejection helps you cross that person off the list, let go of the pipe dream (though letting go can involve a lot of crying and wine), and move on. One step closer to finding the agent who really IS right for your manuscript and making your dream come true.

Sometimes, not always, but sometimes, they're right to reject you. We are too close to our words to ever look at them objectively. This is a lesson I learned the hard way with my first and second attempts at publication. The second one, in particular, was tough because that book was (and still is) the book of my heart. But ya know what? Those agents that rejected my word baby were totally and completely right. It wasn't ready. It didn't have a strong enough hook. And the voice? The voice sucked rocks. I kind of pride myself on writing good voice, but I was too close to this particular mss to understand that it was beyond the blandest shade of vanilla. I needed other people--professionals, not just lay folks because I'm too stubborn for that ish--to tell me my writing on that particular project blew goats. That was the only way I was ever going to move on from that book. And I'm glad I did. I may come back to it someday though...But that's a different blog post for a different week. 

Occasionally, a rejection can make you laugh. I woke my husband up the other night laughing at a rejection email that came to my phone...which I keep  bedside because I am a glutton for punishment. 

Hold up, Dannie, did you just say you laughed at a rejection?

Uh-huh. It came from an agent for whom I have the utmost respect and who did me the honor of reading my full mss on a super crunched timeline and with enthusiasm. Not only did the rejection give me concrete, personalized feedback I could take home with me to improve my manuscript, it also included this parting line...

I hope you sell the hell out of it and prove me wrong.

I hope I do, too. 

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. This is true in writing as in life. Writing and publishing are gut-wrenching endeavors. And rightly so. I think it's amazeballs to be able to put your ideas out there and have other people read and respond to your work. Writing is a right. Publishing is a privilege. 

Still, it's painful when that response is negative. It's hard not to take it personally. Especially when it's a form rejection that doesn't offer any hints on how to make it better. But the nice part about the form is it leaves the manner of making it better up to you. A personalized rejection can be good feedback, but it can also be misleading. It's hard when it's personalized to remember that agents are human, too, and that their opinions are just that--their opinions. You may get another agent who loves something the rejecting agent hated about your book. At the end of the day we have to get the hell up, brush ourselves off, and keep writing. Take a little time to lick your wounds, but then remember that you're still here. You still have words. And you'll do what you can to make your manuscript stronger for the next agent comes along. Because if you're not willing to do that, you gotta question why you're in this business to begin with.

So suck it up, buttercup. Learn what you can from rejection and then delete it. You've got writing to do.

What inspiration have you been able to take from rejection?

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50...er...45 Novels in 2012

In 2011, I barely scraped by the accomplishment of reading 50 YA Novels. It was an awesome journey, and as a writer I learned a lot about writing for teens. This year, I gave birth to my first child (yeah, that's right, I'm blaming the kid), so while I was originally planning to try for 100 novels, I kept my goal at 50, and hoping I could get to 40 before I gave birth. Then the princess decided to arrive 2 months early! So I only made it to 45. Here they are!

1. The Princess Diaries: Third Time Lucky--Meg Cabot--the voice is wearing on me a little, but I'm not sure it would on a teen. I'm glad the whole Kenny subplot is over, because it did not make Mia a terribly likable protagonist to me. I think a surefire sign that this is Middle Grade and not YA (SPOILER ALERT) is that it takes three whole books to get to her first kiss with the love interest. 

2. The Princess Diaries: Mia Goes Fourth--Meg Cabot--Plot wise this is my favorite in the series because we actually get to see true growth in the protagonist. Honestly, it's about time. The voice has been wearing me out, and it's nice to see her grow a pair. Even if they're princess-y. That said, I'm not sure I can continue with this series right now. I'm putting it away for a while but may come back to it later. 

3. Ink Exchange--Melissa Marr--I started this series last year in preparation for the YA Fantasy I was planning for NaNoWriMo but I never picked up the second book because it's not really my thing. I decided to give book 2 a shot, but I'm really not sure. I dislike when author's change MCs or POVs mid-series. The characters I invested in during Book 1 are "extras" in Book 2. Pretty disappointing. I'm reading a series but not at all invested in the MC during this book. Hard to keep reading. 

4. Fragile Eternity--Melissa Marr--the interesting thing about this book is that I feel like I could have written this story, but it would have "looked" very different. Maybe that's just a sign I'm getting too big for my proverbial britches. (Or at least that I'm gaining confidence in my own abilities?) I liked it better than the previous one because at least we're back with the characters the author made us care about in Book 1. 

5. Radiant Shadows--Melissa Marr--waaaaaaay too many POVs for me in this one. It's different if POVs switch in an organized way, one where you know who is talking. I'd be a filthy hypocrite if I said otherwise, being that my novel, Finding Eve, has six narrators. But there were times while reading this I had to go back and figure out who was "talking" which can be frustrating for an adult, much less a teen. I also felt like some "rules of the world" stuff could have been better explained, for those of us who are not avid fans of fair...er...faeries. I did like the sort of new MC Devlin, though. Kinda wish we'd gotten to know him earlier in the series. 

6. Darkest Mercy--Melissa Marr--I guess there were so many POVs in Radiant Shadows was to prepare the reader for even more POVs in the finale of this series. Marr does a good job of tying everything together in terms of all the characters and plots that she started. Most everyone she introduced throughout the series plays some sort of role in the end, but I still prefer to feel like I want one side or the other, one character or the other, to win, and I'm not sure she fully accomplishes that. 

7. That Summer--Sarah Dessen--I should preface this with saying that I have a decent amount of bias against this author. I read one of her books previously, and it was what motivated me to write characters that were absolutely nothing like her protagonist. I'm not a big fan of teen chick-lit, and Dessen's work definitely falls into that category. All that said, there's not much about this book that surprised me. The characters fit more stereotypes than they shatter and the plot was pretty predictable. And, not for nothing, I don't think hitting someone in the forehead with a shoe is ever acceptable, especially not in a YA  MC. 

8. Dreamland--Sarah Dessen--Plot-wise there's a lot more to this than the previous books I've read by this author, so that's a plus. The down side is that the MC is"rescued" rather than saving herself in the end. It's hard to completely fault her for that, or at least it's well justified during the course of the novel, but I still don't like it. I also am beginning to really dislike the way Dessen handles substance abuse in her books, but that's a whole blog in itself. Short story long, for a Dessen book, this one was decent but I wouldn't put it on my "keep" shelf.

9. The Truth About Forever--Sarah Dessen--allow me a little rant, dear readers. I know it must be difficult to have an amazing agent and a fabulous publishing contract. I know that when authors develop a formula that works, there is no requirement to fix that which isn't broken. That said, can we please get a little originality up in here?? This is the second Dessen book I've read with a primary character with the last name "Queen." I'm pretty sure she's had three or four douchebag guy characters named Jason. And can we please move beyond the "my mom's a deadbeat or self-centered divorcee who only cares about herself" subplot? The secondary characters Monica and Kristy are the only unique and interesting part of this work, and while I firmly believe that EVERY character is important, it would be nice if the main characters were what made the story matter. 

10. Just Listen--Sarah Dessen--I think at some point the author most have wanted these books to be a series, and someone along the way told her that YA Contemporary Romances don't sell as series. And I'm not just saying that because I recently received the same feedback from an agent. So many characters, bands, locales, etc are reused by Dessen in her books, you'd think they were a series. But the storylines don't continue from one book to the next. Of course, if it did, she wouldn't be able to use the formula that's helped her sell so many books. I think I've read nearly enough of her stuff now to learn what I can and move on. 

11. Along for the Ride--Sarah Dessen--Meh. There's not a lot to say here I haven't said above. 

12. A Million Suns--Beth Revis--I was a very good and patient fan of Beth's work and did not illegally download this novel as soon as it hit the interwebz. I waited. I bought. I read. And now? I'm kicking myself for breaking my rule of never beginning a trilogy before the last book is published. I read this book in a day, unable to put it down, gasping at all the twists and turns, all the while remembering fondly the teen girl I was who swore up and down that there would never ever be a science fiction novel I could enjoy. So now I wait, until January 2013 to see how all of this gets wrapped up. But seriously, read this novel. It's a quick, entertaining read that makes you forget completely that you're not nerdy enough to like science fiction. 

13. Divergent--Veronica Roth--Every once and a while I'll stumble upon a book that makes me want to read slowly. A novel so well written--not only in terms of the writing itself, but originality of plot, interesting environment, and unique characters--that it makes me want to slow down and savor each word, like a piece of Rock Bottom Brewery's Chocolate Ecstasy. This is one of those novels. I will pick up anything this debut author sends to the shelves. 

14. Ender's Game-Orson Scott Card--After nearly two years of requests (read: harping, nagging) I caved to hub's request I read this book. It was ok...I think some themes could have been better developed/followed through. I predicted the ending about half-way through which is no fun. I think it probably opened the door for some of the current trends in YA, even though I'm not sure the Young Adult section of the bookstore even existed back then. I'd say it's worth giving it a shot. 

15. 10 Things We Did (And Probably Shouldn't Have)--Sarah Mylnowski--The whole time I was reading this I kept asking myself, "why is it that every time teens are left to their own devices in fiction the purpose of their autonomy is binge drinking?" This is definitely going on my list to critique on my Sex, Drugs, & YA Fiction blog. That rant aside, it was a humorous, quick read.

16. Perfect Chemistry--Simone Elkeles--This was a re-read in preparation for a review post on my other blog. I think I've read it four times now and I still love it. It's real without being gratuitous and it gave me the green light to include some things in my WOP that I thought were going to be too graphic for YA. Yay for taking calculated writing risks! 

17. Chain Reaction--Simone Elkeles--This novel perpetuates my belief that I am impossible to please with the last novel in any series. Where I felt Perfect Chemistry and Rules of Attraction were very gritty and real, this one felt forced. A lot of the gang and drug content seemed unrealistic to me. I think authors face a pressure to finish the remaining books in a series once the first book is published and there's demand for more, and so they rush to publication without savoring the process the way you can before you publish book one. I don't have any proof of this, but this to me felt more rushed than the previous two. 

18. Leaving Paradise--Simone Elkeles--A little more predictable and less convincingly real than the Perfect Chemistry trilogy, but I think this series came first so that makes sense. Still a pretty good read, but not sure it's one I'd want to read over and over again.

19. Return to Paradise--Simone Elkeles--Better than book 1 in this series, but still doesn't compare with her more recent stuff. Still better than some other stuff that's out there. 

20. The Hunger Games--Suzanne Collins--A re-read in preparation for the movie premiere next week. OMG I can't wait!! [ /fangirl ] Seriously this book is so well written. It's the kind of book that pushes me to be a more thought-provoking writer. I like my gritty romance niche just fine, but it would be awesome to write something that makes people think, too. 

21. Forever...--Judy Blume--Holy graphically detailed sex scenes, batman! I no longer feel any guilt whatsoever about the somewhat steamy makeout scenes I write, and I have a new book to blog about!

22. Boy21--Matthew Quick--Not what I was expecting, but not in a bad way. I expected it to be more of a 'boy book', which is why I picked it up for research purposes. I think a girl could enjoy it just as easily. I know I did. Quick read and well worth the time. 

23. Oh My Gods--Tera Lynn Childs--This book is just as campy and predictable as you'd imagine it to be from the back cover blurb, but still amusing enough to keep my attention and make me contemplate actually picking up the sequel. Contemplate being the key word. 

24. Like Mandarin--Kirsten Hubbard--Probably the most well-written, literary YA novel I've read in a while. Unfortunately, that also made it feel like one of those books you read for school, rather than for pleasure. It took me a long time to get through it. I think the author may have intentionally moved slowly through the plot, not only because the book was so character-driven, but also because that's kind of one of the characterizations she gives the setting--slow and uneventful. Not sure I'll read it a second time, but after all I'd heard about it last year, I knew I wanted to read it once. Glad I took the time to get all the way through it. 

25. Pandemonium--Lauren Oliver--I said it last year, and it's still true: I will read anything this author writes. Her stories are compelling and thought provoking. I was a little disappointed I predicted the ending this time though. And I'm even more disappointed in myself for picking up book 2 in this series before the whole series is published. Adding this to the list of sequels of which I'm pacing the proverbial floor in anticipation!

26. The Beginning of After--Jennifer Castle--A nice look into the teenage handling of grief. It feels pretty authentic and rings true with the experiences of some teens I've counseled. A good book for any teen who's unexpectedly lost someone they love, or loves another teen who's had such an experience. Well written, fast paced, and sincere. Can't really ask for much more. I will say as critique, however, and I'm finding this a lot with first person YA, it feels like a lot of authors who write YA don't take the time to craft a unique MC. I think, though, that this time having the MC feel like "every girl" makes her someone any reader can relate to, which may be the intent. 

27. Beauty Queens--Libba Bray--I wanted to like this. I really did. Especially after all the awesome things I've heard about Going Bovine (Still on my list, I just haven't gotten to it yet.) But, meh. To steal from Randy, "it was just alright for me, dude." It was funny, but not LOL funny. KWIM?

28. Sloppy Firsts--Megan McCafferty--The theme this week appears to be Books that Are Talked Up So Much They Can't Help But Let Me Down. Funnier than Beauty Queens but only because I'm fluent in snarky. Some of the language seemed inappropriate for teens (things most teen girls wouldn't know enough to say) but it was humorous enough I picked up the second book in the series. It took me a while to get through it, though. Not a fan of diary-style YA books. #irony. 

29. Insurgent--Veronica Roth--I did a dance of joy when this book came out last month because I've been itching to read it since I finished Divergent. Like her debut, I couldn't put this book down and I read it in less than a day. But I'm not sure how I feel about it. There were parts I loved but other parts I thought I could have been better explained, though maybe it was the my attempt at speed-reading that caused that. Guess I'll just have to read it again. Darn. ;)

30. Second Helpings--Megan McCafferty--I'm still not sure why everyone on Goodreads joygasms over this series so much, but I *think* I liked this better than the first installment. Although, the narrative voice still seems unrealistic for a teenager. Even a smartypants teenager. Curiosity as to where she's taking this is the only thing keeping me reading. 

31. Charmed Thirds--Megan McCafferty--So I'm guessing the narrative style is so ADD because that's supposed to be in keeping with the MC in this series. It's also in keeping with making me stabby. I'm not really sure why I keep reading, but I do. So there ya go. 

32. Fourth Comings--Megan McCafferty--It took me FOREVER to finish the fourth installment in this series. Not only could I not keep up with ADD narrative, the MC just keeps getting less and less sympathetic. What kept me reading this time around was that I wanted to find out how this relationship I've been reading about for four books ends (or doesn't end. I won't ruin it for you.) there wasn't a whole lot of payoff. If I read book 5, it will only be because I need to get to 50 books to meet my goal for the year, and I've already got it on my Nook. 

33. Perfect Fifths--Megan McCafferty--I feel like I deserve a medal of honor for finishing this series. This installment's Socratic method made my brain hurt. It rambled and twisted and turned and the payoff? Wasn't terribly lucrative. That said, it was better than the third and fourth books, and I'm patting myself on the back for finishing the series because I said I would. 

34. Split--Swati Avasthi--The best YA Contemporary I've read in a while. It was a fast, gripping read and I liked the ending, too. Good stuff, tough stuff, and true to reality. I'd pick up other books by this author, too.

35. Suicide Notes--Michael Thomas Ford--This book was not what I expected it to be, but not necessarily in a bad way. It was a fast read and I enjoyed it, though it did feel a little preachy at times. A good 'issue' book but felt a little outdated to me, even for 2008.

36. The Fault in Our Stars--John Green--Over the past few years since I've endeavored to read as many YA books as I can get my hands on, I've read I think four Cancer kid books. This is the only one I would (and probably will) read again. Brilliant, brilliant writing. So glad I forced myself to read through to the end, even when I knew by the end of the first chapter that it would wreck me into a sobbing, crying, girly mess. 

37. Fracture--Megan Miranda--So I wanted to hate this book because she 'stole' my title for my WIP. But I can't. It's awesome. It's fun. It's a quick read with some pretty good twists. Go read it. 

38. Stay--Deb Caletti--Liked but didn't love. I wasn't one hundred percent happy with the ending. 

39. The List--Siobhan Vivian--I was actually pretty disappointed with this because I adored her debut. Too many POVs, and this is coming from a chick who's self-published work has six first-person narrators. 

40. Bittersweet--Sarah Ocklar--I liked it better the first time I read it when it was called The Sweetest Thing. Despite this, I enjoyed the read. It kept me turning pages and entertained and you can't ask for a lot more than that. 

41. Coincidence--Alan May--I couldn't get past chapter four, but I need to give it more of a chance when I'm not drowning in revisions and therefore am in a better mood. The voice was irritating the snot out of me. On the flip, really consistent, distinctive voice!

42. Paper Towns--John Green--Just confirmed I'll read pretty much anything this guy writes. Started with a great hook, kept the pace throughout and ended well, too. This one had me laughing instead of crying which earned it even more bonus points at the end of a hectic week. 

43. An Abundance of Katherines--John Green--I've made it my goal to read everything he's published before the end of 2012. This is not on my list of favorites so far. I'm surprised so many writers I know who are fans of his list this one as their fave. Oh well, more for us to discuss and debate on the Scribophile forums. Darn!

44. Reached--Ally Condie--I can't lie and I'm too disappointed to really even be diplomatic about it. I was super disappointed in this book. It was one I was looking forward to all year after reading Matched and Crossed last year. For me, Reached was super telly and because the three MCs were so isolated, there wasn't a lot of dialogue until the very end. And the ending? Blah. Snoozefest. Sad in my pants after this read. 

45. Looking for Alaska--John Green--AMAZING! This is the John Green I love. Couldn't put it down, didn't want to. Good, good stuff. I love that he's not only a Nerdfighter but that his characters are, too. Authentic nerdiness not just *I like to read a lot and don't have friends* type nerd stereotypes you see in a lot of YA (written by former popular kids.) Nerds unite!!!

Well, I'm ending the year 5 books short of my goal of 50. I have a good reason. She's sorta worth it. ;)

Happy New Year Everyone!! Wishing you happy writing and endless possibilities in 2013!

NaNoQuerMo

Last year I did NaNoWriMo in the throws of first trimester pregnancy symptoms. It was rough, but I made it to 50,009 words, after which I promptly stopped and surrendered to the Stitch. I still have not gone back and read what I wrote last November. I'll admit it. I'm skeerd. Preggo hormones + first time dabbling into writing fantasy, and I'm pretty sure nothing good will come from those pages.

Meanwhile, since mini-me spent the first month of her life in the NICU and I needed distraction, I've spent the last six months dusting off an old drafty thing I wrote a few years back in less than thirty days as well. I've edited, critiqued, beta'ed, edited, critiqued again, and now I'm ready to query.

Just in time for NaNoWriMo.

About a week ago, I started sifting through my "idea" file, looking for inspiration. There are a couple kernels I like, that I might be able to take somewhere, but as I started to consider characters and inciting incidents and snarky bits of dialogue, my mind kept drifting back to my query. And my synopsis. Then a friend of mine tweeted a link to an outdated blog post that I feel like I was meant to see.

Among Chuck Wendig's 24 other invaluable bits of wisdom, this really hit home:

STOP WAITING

Life rewards action, not inertia. What the fuck are you waiting for? To reap the rewards of the future, you must take action in the present. Do so now.

So this year, I'm rebelling against the NaNoWriMo tradition of frantically punching out as many words of new, non sequitur prose as I can fit in my brain in 30 days. Instead of 50,000 words, I'm shooting for 60 queries.

Watch out agents, here I come!!!

And while I wait and tally up the rejections on Query Tracker and try not to pee myself if I get any requests, I'll be around to coach and support all my lovely writer friends who are biting the bullet, some of them for the first time.

Let's Write This, people!!

The Things I Intended to Do in September

So in September I blogged about 5 things I intended to do that month. The fact that I'm just getting back to reviewing the list, does not bode well for my success, but let's find out.

1. Finish Mouse--I just finished writing and posting Mouse this month. Like an occasionally wise and almost always adorable pop star once said sometimes you've just got to let the nectar marinate. Except he said nectah, cuz he's incapable of pronouncing the letter 'r'. Finishing Mouse was something I delayed intentionally because after nearly twenty years of writing fiction I'm finally beginning to learn when what I've written is crap. And what I had written was. I'm mostly satisfied with the end product and it seems like my readers are, too. So, while I "failed" at this September goal, it doesn't really feel like a failure. 

2. Start my NaNoWriMo research--This I accomplished and then some. If you ever decide to take the leap of masochism that is NaNoWriMo, be sure to check out Larry Brooks' StoryFix blog. It is ingenious for anyone who is a plotter (or any pantser who realizes what an exercise in frustration pantsing is. Not that I know anyone like that.) Last year I started NaNoWriMo with a very vague idea of what I wanted to write. This year, I started with a three ring binder complete with color-coded tabs and nearly 100 pages of research and notes. By the end of the month I was on my way to something that might potentially be publishable once it's completed. (I've put it away to marinate for now.)

3. Get to Book 40 on my 50 YA Novels in 2011 list--another one I actually accomplished. Woo! Go me! **pats self on back**

4. Step away from the computer (and computer-related cell phone tasks) at least one day a week--I'm not exactly sure how much screw-top wine I consumed before writing this goal. I think maybe I accomplished this one day in the entire month and that there were somewhat annoying consequences as a result. Sometimes you do need a techno-break, though. I certainly took my share in November when I was in the throws of NaNo. But sometimes the computer is the break you need from reality. 

5. Finish organizing and cleaning my creative space--this didn't happen, but for good reason. We found out in November that we are expecting our first child. So the creative space is now going to become the nursery. So, while it still needs to be cleaned and organized, it's been delayed until we figure out how/what we'll need. Also until the child stops making me violently ill 24-hours a day. (Morning sickness, my ass.) 

Maybe I should do a blog on 100 things I've done to avoid accomplishing goals I've set for myself, because that's a challenge I could totally accomplish!

Back on the Wagon

Okay, typically if I write in my blog that I'm going to do something, I actually follow through with it. So, with that in mind, here are the things I intend to accomplish in September

1. Finish Mouse--the thing has gotten away from me for too long. It should have been done before school started.

2. Start my NaNoWriMo research--This year for National Novel Writing Month, I'm embarking on something I swore I'd never do: write a dystopian fantasy. I'm scared to death but I've got a good idea. But I have a shitton of research to do before November 1st.

3. Get to Book 40 on my 50 YA Novels in 2011 list. I'm about 1/3 the way through with Number 27 at the moment. It's a lofty goal, but...well...that's kinda how I ride.

4. Step away from the computer (and computer-related cell phone tasks) at least one day a week. And yes, I realize this is completely detrimental to goals 1 and 2...and possibly 3.

5.Finish organizing and cleaning my creative space. I can't keep trying to accomplish shit on the couch in front of the television.

I figure if I can actually accomplish any one of these things, I'm ahead of where I sit right now. Words of encouragement are, as always, greatly appreciated.