Warning, this blog
post will contain overuse of GIFs, flagrant capitalization, and excessive
exclamation points because
HOLY CROW, PEOPLE, I
HAVE AN AGENT!!!
And so you don't skip down to the bottom of the post, I will
announce right here and now that I am being represented by...
Batman.
 |
| You didn't REALLY think it was gonna be that easy, did you? |
Here's the story of how it happened. Complete with Disney
GIFs!
 |
| But, D, what does Batman have to do with Disney? |
Nothing. It turns out it's really hard to find funny yet
appropriate Batman GIFs online. Who knew? Interwebz, you should be working on
this. In the meantime, PRINCESSES!
A long, long time ago, in a land far, far away (Orlando), I wrote a very different, very ugly version of what would eventually
become a rough draft of Imperfectly Fine. I tossed it to three of my most loyal
beta readers, whose response was something like this...
So I decided, "Hmmm...Maybe I'll get back to that, ya
know, eventually."
Eventually happened in Spring 2012 when I was six months
pregnant. My doctor pulled me out of my completely insane day job and, knowing
I was not the kind of person who could grasp the concept of "taking it
easy," put me on bed rest.
And I was like,
"wait...you mean I have to sit or lay down, like...all day?"
To which she basically
replied, "yes, you dumbass, that's what bed rest means."
She conceded that I could sit on the couch. For three months.
Within a few days, I
got busy making Imperfectly Fine into Imperfectly Fine. But in May (that's two
months early for those keeping track), this happened...
 |
Completely and
totally impatient and working on her own timeline. Yeah, she's mine.
|
Stitch would be spending at least a month in the hospital
getting closer to gestational age zero. So now I was a mom, but I didn't have a
baby at home. Also, as you can maybe imagine, C-SECTIONS EFFING HURT. There was
a lot of sitting around in my near future and a lot of feeling less than up to
par.
I started editing. On hydrocodone. (Have I mentioned I'm a substance abuse counselor?)
Okay, I was
wrong.
But that's what I thought. So I entered the contest to win a partial manuscript
critique. I was totally shocked when editorial and agenting intern
Brent Taylor
picked me out of the slush and made me his
winner!
For those looking for a take home message in this post, it
might be worth noting that the pitch I used for the Teen Eyes contest is nearly the same pitch
I used in my query and all along the path that led to me having an agent. My
concept has never been the problem.
No, the problem was me. But we'll get to that.
In the meantime, I may have let Teen Eyes get to my head a little.
But the fact that I had
something
was further confirmed at SCBWI Carolinas where I had the privilege
of having my first ten pages critiqued by the incredibly talented
Megan Miranda. I also participated in a
blind first page cold reading and got some incredibly helpful feedback from Divergent editor
Molly O'Neill and I volunteered to have my "so-what" factor ripped apart
by awesome agent
Jen Rofé. Short story long, I had a lot of really, really good eyes on my words in one weekend.
My maternity leave
was almost up and going back to work
was inevitable. I buckled down, using the feedback I'd gotten from SCBWI, Brent,
WriteOnCon, and
Scribophile with the goal of having Imperfectly Fine ready to query
by November 1, 2012. I was nearing what I thought would be the end of my pre-agent editing...
and though I had a couple good CPs and a WONDERFUL pack of beta readers, I wanted a few more eyes before I started querying.
One of the resources I picked up while doing WriteOnCon was
the
YAStands
blog, for which I'm excited to be a contributing blogger now. They did a post
about upcoming contests which mentioned that Brenda,
Deana Romito, and some chick
named
Kimberly Chase were hosing an upcoming contest called
Trick or Treat with Agents.
Since the last contest had gone so well, I decided to enter.
This time there would be actual agents involved, requesting manuscripts. Since
it was a Halloween contest, they'd be "disguised" by costumes.
Three things you should know about me: (1) I am extremely
superstitious in random, nontraditional ways (2) Halloween is my favorite
holiday (3) I have had a life-long affinity for all things Batman.
When Kim picked IMPERFECTLY FINE as one of the top ten YA entries I was
beyond excited. I maybe almost peed a little. Then? This happened...
Which meant that the mystery agent costumed as Batman wanted
to see my partial. *And* it just so happened that Batman was on my "to-query" list. Well, not Batman, but you KWIM. My reaction was something like this...
Still I had committed to beginning my querying process by
November 1
st, so that's what I did. In my first batch, I sent out
ten queries. From that I got three requests. But despite this
positive start, these requests ultimately ended in rejections. The good thing
was that they were detailed, helpful rejections. My plot was still a problem.
My hook was there, but needed to be stronger. And Noah? Oh poor Noah. My love
interest was hurting me more than he was helping. More on that later...
On to Pitch Wars and MSFV's Secret Agent contest, neither of
which I won, but both of which led to some more really helpful feedback for me.
They also further introduced me to Kim and to
Marieke Nijkamp, both of whom
offered to beta my manuscript even though they didn't pick me as their mentee.
I could not have survived what follows without these two amazing
writers.
I edited some more. I queried some more. I got a couple more
requests and got my ass handed to me, which I rightly deserved. One agent,
we'll call her Agent M, was an agent I'd queried because I heard she gave
thoughtful feedback even when sending a query rejection. When she requested my
full, it made my year. I squeed a little more quietly than I would have in
October, because I was starting to figure this whole process out finally, but I
still squeed. Agent M was my pipedream agent, someone I thought was perfect for
my book, but in no way expected her to give me the time of day.
A few days later, Agent M sent me an invitation to R&R.
I started to revise yet again.
Two days before New Year's Eve, while I was in the midst of Agent
M's revision, Batman requested my full.
Oh...um...I should probably mention at some point that Batman is, in fact, a woman. Anyway...
I was editing! But there was my bat signal! That had to
mean something, right?
So what did I do? Did I write Batman and say, "hey, I'm
doing some editing, can you gimme a few?" Hell no. Because
Dannie is not a patient person. I sent off my half-edited manuscript and
crossed my fingers.
Do not do this. Seriously.
Once I realized what
a colossal mistake that was, I hurriedly finished my R&R. and sent it off
to Agent M and another agent who was waiting on my full, and for the hell of it
asked if Batman might consider taking a look at the revision instead.She urged me to send it on straight away.
Why? Honestly, you'll have to ask her. Cuz I totally
deserved for her to drop me like a Hot Pocket. Especially because I was going to get
even flakier.
Get it? Hot Pocket? Flakier?
...
...
February is when things finally started to come together.
And by come together I mean that all hell broke loose.
I got another rejection from Agent M with another
opportunity to R&R (because apparently she is a glutton for punishment? Or
really nice? Probably both.) I'd stopped querying at that point because I was burned out on the manuscript, and was
knee deep in drug binging kids with my day job to the point where I couldn't
deal with the drug binging kids in my manuscript. So while I was excited about
the third chance with my dream agent, and I was still hopeful I'd hear good things from Batman
soon, the R&R was a little bittersweet.
So what did I do? I did what every perfectly rationally
thinking burned out writer does when she's backed herself into a clusterfuck.
I made my love interest gay.
Yeah.
I am, in each and every aspect of my life, a plotter. And I
was pantsing my ass off. Which should have been my first (no probably third)
clue that I was screwing this up big time.
Just as I began to realize my fuckedupedness, Batman wrote me an email with some very
specific feedback, offering me an "Exclusive Revision."
So I wrote her back in as professional a way as I could
manage basically saying, "Do what now?"
It's actually just what it sounds like. I'd rescind my
manuscript from the agents who currently had it, and work exclusively with
Batman to revise it, and then after that, if we were both happy with the way
the revision went, she would offer representation. Which, really, is a cool
opportunity--You get a feel for how you work together, a true sense of whether
your vision for the manuscript is the same. All before you have to commit to
someone you should really feel good about before you put your book's life in
her hands.
Still, it scared the hell outta me. It felt like a
proverbial all-eggs-one-basket sort of thing. I decided to contact the other
agents considering partials and fulls (I was standing at 7 at the time) and see
how that went. Keep in mind, at this point half of the agents had manuscripts
with Noah straight and the other half gay. The next week went a little bit like this...
And in that time I learned three crucially important
take-home lessons: First and foremost NO
ONE IS HURRYING IN PUBLISHING SO YOU SHOULDN'T EITHER. When you do, you make
stupid, desperate decisions that are absolutely no good for your writing. Two,
the feedback you get from agents on fulls and partials will vary. A lot. This
is a good thing because it lets you know if you and an agent are on the same
page. Also, you cannot possibly adhere to all of it and have a manuscript that
makes sense.
Three: Don't ever, ever make your love interest gay on
impulse. Like, ever.
As my deadline approached, I spoke to three agents on the
phone: Agent M, Agent B--who had been considering my full--and Batman.
Agent B had the strongest reaction to my decision to make
Noah gay. In fact, her reaction was so strong that when I told her I kinda
hated the decision myself, she offered me representation.
Yeah, you read that right. Two days before I owed Batman a
decision on her exclusive revision, I got an offer of representation from
somebody else.
Which was great.
Beyond
great. And I felt a connection with Agent B when I talked to her on the
phone. It was a dream come
true...
Except, it didn't feel
like a dream come true. It felt like screeching brakes and a migraine.
I spend a lot of time in my day job talking to kids about that little voice. You know, the one that
tells you something isn't right?
I really, really wanted to ignore it.
I talked to Agent M next. I'd informed her of the offer from
Agent B and laid all my cards on the table--my confusion, my frustration with
my own wish-washiness with Noah, and how I felt about losing the opportunity to
have her as an agent (she was my dream agent after all.) Agent M was not
calling me to make me an offer. She was calling to help me figure out what my
next step was, which, by the way, she had absolutely no obligation to do. It
was such a good call, though. I heard nothing but good about Agent M going into
the querying process, and every single thing people said about her was
absolutely true.
My manuscript was in shambles. My judgment was clearly
lacking as far as my L.I. was concerned. I was the actual personification of
the Hero Lost in my own story. This was not how I wanted to feel when I signed
with an agent.
In my moment of despair, Batman emailed to say she was still
very interested in my manuscript despite my offer and that she wanted to chat.
My heart fluttered. My pulse raced. Batman was going to counter-offer. I just
knew it!
Actually, Batman was calling to say that my manuscript was
in shambles and I needed to really consider if that was how I wanted to feel
when I signed with an agent.
I ended that phone call baffled and irked. Which
makes absolutely no sense. Why? Because it was exactly what I had been thinking
before I took Batman's call! Which is why I did the only thing I could possibly
do that was crazier than making my love interest gay.
I rejected the only offer of representation I had on the
table. And I rejected the offer of exclusive revision.
I wrote Batman, Agent M, and Agent B and told them that I
had decided to revise independently. What I really meant was "I'm at the
ledge and I want to gleefully fling my computer over it, so I need some
time." They all offered to look at the manuscript again once I revised. So
that's what I set out to do.
Sort of...
You know that "all hope is lost" moment in every
great story right before the hero goes from hero acted upon to hero in action?
That's where I was. It sucked rocks.
I was exhausted. I was confused. I had royally screwed up my manuscript. And on top of that, my non-writing life was nuts. My preemie was sick on and off to the point we had to pull her out of day care. My job was off the chain. And my husband and I both got struck by what will go down in history as the worst, most life-altering case of stomach flu in unrecorded history.
I took a full break from writing. Not just writing but all things writing related. Everything. Part of that was forced upon me by the worst, most life-altering case of stomach flu in unrecorded history. Part of it was that my brain was in worse shape than my body.
When I finally straightened my shit out (and Noah's) I revised thoroughly. I beta'ed and CPed the hell out of it. Then I sent my book baby off into the agenting world one more time. When Batman responded, it took me nearly a day to open the email. I was seriously having trauma flashbacks to February. This time, though, Batman was writing to offer me representation. The tone of her email was passionate enthusiastic. Everything you want an offer of representation to be. Which, combined with the trauma flashbacks made me ugly cry.
Cuz, ya know, I had to send out a whole bunch of emails. I had 20 queries or submissions unaccounted for. I had to follow up with all of them and tell them I needed an answer in seven business days.
I sent my emails. And then Batman and I had *the call*. And
it was everything THE CALL should
be.
And because hindsight is 20/20 and whatnot, looking back I can
see that Batman was the agent for me all along. She saw through my crazypants moments and was patient when I couldn't be. She kept in touch with me while she was reading to let me know how much she liked my book. She's as excited about my
manuscript as I am, even with all its imperfections. We're totally on the same
page on the edits I still need to make. She
fought to represent me.
And she's friggin' Batman, for crying out loud.
But now, I can
officially and formally say that I am beyond ecstatic to be represented by Thao
Le of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency. And I feel like this:
Which is exactly how it should be.
There are a ton of people I need to thank for getting me this far, only a handful of whom got a shoutout in this post. That's what a fourteen month trek toward finding an agent will do for you. So I'll save that for another entry. Or better yet, for my Acknowledgments. Cuz Thao and I are gonna do our thing here in a bit and get Skylar, Cole and Noah a book deal.
Final Stats:
Queries Sent: 63
Partials requested: 7
Fulls requested: 19
Contests Entered (with agents): 4
Contest requests: 7
Offers of representation: 2
Timeline with Thao:
11/2/12 Partial Request
12/28/12 Full Request
2/11/13 Offer of Exclusive Revision
4/20/13 Revision Submitted
5/21/13 Offer of Representation
