First and foremost, I'm sorry for the ordeals you endured at my hand: Pregnancy, broken bones, tattoos, not to mention the emotional scars or the welts from your escapades with one Jonathan R. Knight.
I'll miss your chats with Jordan-the finest form of ADHD I've ever written, your complete naivety to all things scandalous with Jon, your unbridled hatred for Shaquille O'Neal, and looking up glamourous couture dresses for you to wear to all your Alpha events. I'll miss speaking in code, screen capturing text messages, and figuring out new ways to torture you in ink. I'll miss your family, your Family, and your arch nemeses.
It's been a good run, one hell of a year. But I think it's time we parted ways.
At least we'll always have Caliutah.
Love, Your Creator,