tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post5502154670870132873..comments2024-02-24T03:53:59.980-05:00Comments on Left to Write: #BaitAndPitch: Twitter Pitches!Dannie Morinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13615179669635228979noreply@blogger.comBlogger227125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-9591690512993132572014-08-29T14:06:37.405-04:002014-08-29T14:06:37.405-04:00Shelly, I know. That's why it tempts me. LOL. ...Shelly, I know. That's why it tempts me. LOL. :)Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07630459404574301299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-52453142933868875962014-08-29T13:44:01.441-04:002014-08-29T13:44:01.441-04:00I so want to read this. And I agree, one more deta...I so want to read this. And I agree, one more detail may make it perfect.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07630459404574301299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-4528253477291073552014-08-29T13:43:04.380-04:002014-08-29T13:43:04.380-04:00The first makes the goal clear. But I am drawn to ...The first makes the goal clear. But I am drawn to the second. I love the "bro code dilemma."Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07630459404574301299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-54992789986516007802014-08-29T13:40:54.765-04:002014-08-29T13:40:54.765-04:00I had not thought of changing the format. I may ha...I had not thought of changing the format. I may have to toy with that.<br /><br />I really like this. It works for me.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07630459404574301299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-71023960510312434602014-08-29T13:39:25.941-04:002014-08-29T13:39:25.941-04:00I agree, #3 makes the clearest pitch for this book...I agree, #3 makes the clearest pitch for this book. And I also love thew title. Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07630459404574301299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-12466507225055880982014-08-29T13:37:14.875-04:002014-08-29T13:37:14.875-04:00REVISED
Priss needs to find the motive behind 18...REVISED<br /><br /><br />Priss needs to find the motive behind 18yo Chrissy becoming a school shooter before the State asks for the death penalty. #BaitPitch YA/CHeatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07630459404574301299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-71178448480489405832014-08-29T12:21:17.034-04:002014-08-29T12:21:17.034-04:00(I owe a bunch of you guys some critiques but my a...(I owe a bunch of you guys some critiques but my allergies tried to kill me yesterday so I'm slowly recovering: )Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18304987001735754561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-36262313644883786112014-08-29T12:20:48.055-04:002014-08-29T12:20:48.055-04:00#BaitPitch Dumped on the eve of HS graduation, 18y...#BaitPitch Dumped on the eve of HS graduation, 18yo Ivy swears off guys & hides out on a remote island. All is calm until swoon-worthy Ren.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18304987001735754561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-68576378060130728502014-08-29T09:37:57.377-04:002014-08-29T09:37:57.377-04:00REVISION #!:
When her brother's kidnapped, Co...REVISION #!:<br /><br />When her brother's kidnapped, Cori battles past a giant winged serpent to rescue him before the Winter Chief kills him. #BaitPitch YA UFAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-72599204023343840922014-08-29T09:34:08.464-04:002014-08-29T09:34:08.464-04:00Pitch 3 is my fav of the bunch. Stakes. Conflict. ...Pitch 3 is my fav of the bunch. Stakes. Conflict. Action.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-8794981035665690002014-08-29T07:56:57.147-04:002014-08-29T07:56:57.147-04:00I like Mary's suggestion too. #baitpitch: Ambe...I like Mary's suggestion too. #baitpitch: Amber's a fan of a worldwide gov't program to eliminate drug addiction, until she confronts the deadly side effects. Nobody lives past forty.BIG THANKS MARY!!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-8971254040910320252014-08-29T06:54:50.350-04:002014-08-29T06:54:50.350-04:00Oh, that's better. Now I get why it's imp...Oh, that's better. Now I get why it's important that there are two deaths and both make it into the twitter pitch. I like this one!<br /><br />RebeccaAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13896416602520194004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-61110590684703123392014-08-29T00:53:30.487-04:002014-08-29T00:53:30.487-04:00I like #3 best as it makes the conflict clearest. ...I like #3 best as it makes the conflict clearest. Finding your immortal wouldn't seem horrible to most 16 year olds. But being ripped apart by monsters would.neicolechttp://www.neicolec.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-60034974751953610562014-08-28T23:48:23.580-04:002014-08-28T23:48:23.580-04:00David, Bill, Peggy and Kimberly. I seem to have ha...David, Bill, Peggy and Kimberly. I seem to have had a computer glitch and didn't see your comments until I'd already thrown up another try. I'm going to incorporate and. keep, trying...Shelly Steighttp://shellysteig.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-54095570051991118452014-08-28T23:46:24.122-04:002014-08-28T23:46:24.122-04:00Shannon, I really love your word play here--a dose...Shannon, I really love your word play here--a dose of tragedy! I'd keep the firs two sentences and the dose line, but work inside of that:-)Shelly Steighttp://shellysteig.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-86430587284601948182014-08-28T23:43:43.205-04:002014-08-28T23:43:43.205-04:00Heather, actually that would grab a lot of attenti...Heather, actually that would grab a lot of attention since school shooters tend to be male!Shelly Steighttp://shellysteig.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-13633312810473445932014-08-28T23:36:39.932-04:002014-08-28T23:36:39.932-04:00Ashley, Love the title! I take it hoodoo spells ar...Ashley, Love the title! I take it hoodoo spells are known to be bad? In pitch 2, the "but" stumped me a bit, but that's because I don't have a full grasp on how this would ruin his social status. Another question popped to mind--Why is being immortal a bad thing? During WOC, I saw a lot of agents responding to comps, so maybe pitch 1 would resonate well with them. You could say, Smallville meets (or maybe even +) Beautiful Creatures when Adam's mama makes him Immortal w/ a philosopher's stone. Then show us the stakes.Shelly Steighttp://shellysteig.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-88565390154091860902014-08-28T23:25:53.734-04:002014-08-28T23:25:53.734-04:00I have to admit, the format is brilliant! Is Jacob...I have to admit, the format is brilliant! Is Jacob vs. The Jinx the title? Maybe save that for the longer pitches and use the characters to give us some detail--like what would make this hard for him? He's got "gamers thumb"? :-)Shelly Steighttp://shellysteig.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-66102436799612025612014-08-28T23:19:24.346-04:002014-08-28T23:19:24.346-04:00I really like the juxtaposition of what might happ...I really like the juxtaposition of what might happen. Also, agreeing with others, if you give us a detail about her, it will also help us know you aren't talking about a weather phenomenon:-) Will their deaths be caused by a flaming Big Tex? :-)Shelly Steighttp://shellysteig.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-43511386354565281752014-08-28T23:17:58.913-04:002014-08-28T23:17:58.913-04:00Really like Mary's edit! Leaves you with a pun...Really like Mary's edit! Leaves you with a punch in the gut. That's what I think matters most in something like PitMad. The pitch needs to incite some kind of immediate reaction. I honestly wouldn't care what's "she's going to do about it," so long as the pitch gives me *feels*. I mean, we can't be expected to do EVERYTHING in a twitter pitch can we?Ashley Hearnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02180884790511352942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-38727345182683888852014-08-28T23:13:30.813-04:002014-08-28T23:13:30.813-04:00You could steal back some characters by taking out...You could steal back some characters by taking out the a and making forty 40. Effects maybe effect? Shelly Steighttp://shellysteig.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-86594723102361432412014-08-28T23:10:00.855-04:002014-08-28T23:10:00.855-04:00You've done a good job setting up the stakes. ...You've done a good job setting up the stakes. I'm stretching to find something to say:-) Can you take out the "must"? Cori battles...Shelly Steighttp://shellysteig.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-14830537157476228292014-08-28T23:09:53.767-04:002014-08-28T23:09:53.767-04:00OH. MY. GOSH. I LOVE Pitch #1. So much drama and t...OH. MY. GOSH. I LOVE Pitch #1. So much drama and tension in one little Tweet! (Minor crit, you don't need the comma before too).<br /><br />Pitch #2 is good too, but the beauty of the first is it's simplicity. With a bajillion other pitches in PitMad, agents/editors probably aren't going to read something twice. I really like Peggy's rewording on this one!<br /><br />I'd request ;)<br /><br />AshleyAshley Hearnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02180884790511352942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-54829225396204201452014-08-28T23:07:36.776-04:002014-08-28T23:07:36.776-04:00Second try:
Fred wants to be a Bob like dad &...Second try: <br />Fred wants to be a Bob like dad & bros. Dad=fake identity w/ deadly enemy. How's a Fred to figure out who they are--& who he is? Shelly Steighttp://shellysteig.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4356733121060620183.post-157821128209824862014-08-28T23:03:14.940-04:002014-08-28T23:03:14.940-04:00Oooh. Love the stakes here. And the 'Texas Sta...Oooh. Love the stakes here. And the 'Texas State Fair' setting is so unique! Wonder if you could give us one little detail about Rain? Something like: If 16yo (shy-girl, cheerleader, PI, cyborg, sparkly vampire... whatever, lol) Rain is wrong... ext, ext.<br /><br />Good Luck!<br /><br />AshleyAshley Hearnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02180884790511352942noreply@blogger.com